Divorce and Children

Divorce and Children

Divorce and Children. A combination not to be taken lightly, but not always avoidable. As parents, we need to be prepared to walk our kids through all manner of situations, and that includes difficult topics such as divorce. Let’s take a look at the things to keep in mind when presenting this subject to your kids:

The Be-Aware-Ofs

First, you need to know some common ways children process news such as their parents’ divorce. Kids typically feel this is a huge threat to their safe norms. Their most formative relational example is going away, and it feels like their safety is going with it. As a result, they’ll be scared and confused, and will absolutely need guidance. Frequently, they assume responsibility and will need you to set the record straight.

What to Say

You’ll need to tell them it is NOT THEIR FAULT, and that you love them very much. Additionally, they’ll need honesty and transparency to properly process the coming changes. Be simple and straightforward, and share in the upset with them. They’ll need you to help them organize their feelings, and you need to be in it with them to do so.

Ideally, both parents will be able to sit down for this discussion as a family. Make sure to clearly voice your commitment to minimize conflict between each other, and how you’ll cooperate for your child’s needs. You don’t want them to feel the need to choose sides!

The Aftermath

Now that you’ve told them what to expect, follow through! You want to provide as much consistency as you can. Honestly, their expectations should be clear and MET!

Keep an eye out for some important signs, as your child may need some additional support. How are their studies? Their behavior? Do you notice any significant changes? It doesn’t even need to be something “negative,” we just want to take note of any major shifts. Counseling is a must, as soon as possible, ESPECIALLY if they show these signs of struggle. A little guidance goes a long way!

Having kids never means we stop living life. In this case, that means not avoiding the hard things. Besides, while divorce is a hard thing, it’s not impossible! We can deal with divorce in healthy ways, it just takes following these simple guidelines.